


Leashed by Veins

by lilswimmy03



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, Eggs, Evil Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Happy Ending, Happy Toby Smith | Tubbo, Happy TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Hybrids, Infected Characters, Infection, Manipulation, Mentioned Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Mentioned TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Minecraft, Older Sibling Wilbur Soot, Pain, Parent Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Platonic Relationships, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Ram Hybrid Toby Smith | Tubbo, Sickfic, Sleepy Bois Inc Angst, Swearing, Trauma, Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings, Wingfic, Wings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-13 16:14:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29281287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilswimmy03/pseuds/lilswimmy03
Summary: Tommy's obedience to Dream during exile never swayed until the day Dream lit a nether portal. After getting caught visiting the nether alone, Dream forces Tommy to undergo an interesting change that ensures obedience. However, to obtain such control Tommy is forced under a curse that when Dream triggers, turns him into a killer.
Comments: 11
Kudos: 49





	1. The Nether

**Author's Note:**

> I'm aware that the plot has moved far beyond this point, but I feel like basically writing it in a different direction. Please don't come at me. I love the idea of the wing au, but also love the idea of the egg and its infectious property that I just got this idea, and want to see how it plays out. This first chapter is going to be short because it's late and I want to see how it does first and how I want to move on before writing any more.
> 
> Updates: Chapter 5 writing has just started!

It was chilly, but the silky warmth of cream-colored wings on his back, emitted enough warmth to shelter Tommy from the weather. He shoved a finger in the sand, feeling the rough stones. It had only been a few weeks in exile, but the boredom and loneliness made it seem like he’d always been here. 

He looked down at the rope fastened around his hips that compressed his wings to him. Many times, he considered cutting the rope to at least stretch his cramped wings, but he knew his captor would be furious he was caught. Just the thought of Dream catching him was terrifying. He might clip his wings or cut them off completely to prove a point

He shuddered at the thought. No, he had been good since that last time Dream came to visit. He even let him keep his stone pic axe after the routine of blowing up Tommy’s belongings. Dream was his friend. His only friend and he couldn’t slip back into old habits. Not when Dream promised to bring him into the nether that afternoon. 

In the distance Tommy could see the outline of a small boat paddling towards the shore. Immediately Tommy stood up, wiping his sandy hands on his pants. 

Speak or I guess think of the devi.l

As the boat approached Tommy could make out a green figure waving to him. Tommy smiled back waiting for the craft to hit shallow enough water, so he could help pull it up on the sand. 

The tall, masked man jumped out of the boat, giving a pat on Tommy’s shoulder.

“Thanks, big man,” Dream said. Tommy bit his lips holding back the urge to mimic Dream’s ridiculously cheery tone. 

“So as I promised, and this is because you’ve been such a good friend I’m taking you to the nether today.” 

“Bout damn time.”

“You realize that you’re not allowed to go in the nether without me, right? Let alone the main portal.” Tommy frowned looking down.

“Oh, come on Tommy. You know no one wants to see you anyways. If they did, they would have visited you by now. The best you can do is stay far away from them.”

“You’re right. I’m destructive and all that blah blah, but can we please get a move on.”

“Hold on there.” Dream pulled a shovel out of the boat and began digging. A sinking feeling landed in Tommy’s stomach. A helpless sinking feeling, as he knew what would happen next. 

After the hole reached a satisfactory depth, Dream turned to Tommy and pointed towards the hole.

Tommy untied his chest plate and helmet tossing them in the pit. His sword, axe, and pic axe followed suite. With a nod of approval dream pulled a stick of dynamite from his backpack, light the wick, carelessly dropping it in the hole.

Tommy clenched his fists as the sound of exploding items met his ears. He’d have to spend another entire evening just to make up for half of those items. 

“Now that’s over, let’s go on a trip.” Excitedly, as if completely forgetting about his things, Tommy trailed behind the hooded figure to the edge of the forest. Dream carefully placed the portal obsidian and lit it. Purple warped fragments erupted from the frame of the portal, and the two stepped through. As Tommy’s vison cleared, he found himself standing over a massive cliff overlooking bubbling magma. 

Dream laughed at Tommy’s expression, as if Tommy hadn’t been to the nether thousands of times before his exile. 

“Come on. Let’s do a little exploring.”

As they stepped around the corner Tommy noticed a few jagged buildings across the lava.

“That’s where the main portal is,” Dream said in response to Tommy’s wounder.

“Maybe eventually I’ll allow you to go into the nether alone when I can trust that you won’t go through it.” Just then an idea struck Tommy.

“Hey Dream, can we build a bridge to the portal so it’s easier for people to come visit me?” 

“Sure, I guess. I mean no one’s going to visit you, but it will be easier for me.” Dream handed Tommy stone, as he began slowly bridging across the red lake. By the time they reached the other side, Tommy’s back was aching, and the heat of the lava left beads of sweat on his nose. Dream clapped. 

“Good job Tommy. Now let’s get you back to camp before it gets late.”

“But what about--.”

“What about what? The portal. There’s no point on checking it out if you can’t even go through it. Come on.” Tommy could sense the sternness in those last words. Annoyed he crossed his arms and began to follow the green figure across the bridge. 

“Hey, before I forget, I won’t be able to visit you for a couple days, but I trust that you won’t get into any trouble.” Tommy nodded in response, a little sadness creeping in knowing he’d be alone. Wait. 

The word alone struck idea. They made the portal today, so Dream doesn’t have anyone guarding the portal yet. After all there was no need if he couldn’t access the nether before today. When Dream leaves, he has time to come back to the main portal, and maybe take a sneak peek at his home. Bonus, it would be dark out by then, so there’s an even smaller chance of getting caught.

The plan would be perfect.

Tommy ruffled his pinned down feathers in excitement. 

“Why’d you do that,” dream laughed as they approached the portal back to Logsteadshire. 

“I’m just excited that I got to use cobblestone today.” Dream chuckled as they stepped through the portal. 

The two figures emerged just as dusk began spilling into the sky. Tommy walked with Dream to his boat, trying to keep himself from getting too excited. Dream jumped into the boat and grabbed the oars, as Tommy pushed the craft back into the lapping waves. Before starting to paddle, Dream turned to Tommy.

“I’ll see you soon.” Dream froze for a second as if he had drifted off.

“Are you ok?” Dream shook his head snapping out of his little trance. 

“Yeah. Just a little tired.”

“Alright. Well see you,” Tommy said, waving as the boat began to speed forward. Once the Dream was nothing more than a blip on the horizon, Tommy began sprinting up the sand dune, straight towards the portal. The weight of his tied down wings made running heavy, but he kept his breath as steady as possible. 

Tommy jumped through the portal, dipped around the corner, and ran down the bridge. Just as he was about to touch the portal he suddenly stopped.

“No one wants to see you,” “your own best friend exiled you,” “you’re only good for destruction.” Tommy grabbed his head and dropped to his knees. Warm tears began sliding down his cheeks. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t go back, and he certainly couldn’t disobey his only friend. Even if he only planned on peeking through the portal.

“What the fuck is wrong with me. I’m not a child. I’m a big man. Why the hell am I crying.” Tommy wiped the tears with the back of his hand and turned his head to look at the bridge. He couldn’t go through with it. His only option was to return to his tent and wait until Dream visited again. 

Tommy got up and began crossing back over the lava. The closer he got to the portal the angrier he was with himself. How could he have even considered doing something so stupid? He could’ve gotten himself killed if he was caught.

He slipped through the portal lost almost bumping into the green figure standing outside waiting for him .. axe in hand. Tommy’s blood went cold. He lifted his head to meet the porcelain mask, eyes wide with terror. He could feel the anger radiating off of the man.

Fuck.


	2. The Sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy pays the consequences for going into the nether alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, the chapters aren't very long. I am balancing a lot on my plate. Plus dyslexia makes it difficult to write lengthy stuff. I hope whoever finds this enjoys it (this is my first time writing something like this). I will post the next chapter as soon as it's written and combed through. :)

Dream grabbed Tommy’s collar and began pulling him towards tnret.

“Please Dream. I promise I didn’t go back to the SMP. I’m sorry I went into the nether. Please. I’ll do anything,” Tommy begged stumbling along with hand attached to him. As they reached the clearing in front of tnret, Dream twisted his arm down in a sweeping motion, throwing the pleading boy onto the ground. Tommy felt a little pain in his wrist as he landed on his knees and hands. A heavy boot come down on the back of his bundled wings, and with a forceful push, he was on his stomach.

Tommy’s entire body shook as he laid, terror filling the once cheeky blue eyes. A hand grabbed the back of his shirt, lifting his chest slightly off the ground. Kneeling down, Dream revealed a crimson filled bottle.

It was strange. It didn’t have the usual sheen that came after brewing a magical potion, and yet the way it slowly moved around the bottle suggested that it wasn’t some sort of juice either. Tommy’s throat dropped into his stomach.

_Dream was gonna kill him. This was it._

“Drink,” Dream said sternly, holding the bottle up to Tommy’s lips, and tipping it slightly.

The taste was indescribable, the texture thick, and _oh god_ it was burning him. He began coughing, desperately trying to catch a breath. The hand holding Tommy tightened.

“All of it, or else.” The bottle was shoved back up against Tommy’s lips, but this time he drank quicker. The contents of the bottle disappearing with large gulps. When Tommy finished, the hand holding him up let go without warning, as his head hit the ground. Already he could feel his stomach begin to ache from the already residing hunger and the speed at which he drank.

Dream stood over the boy and cleanly sliced apart the rope bundling his soft wings.

“Open them.” Tommy’s breathing stopped.

_Fuck. He’s going to take my wings. Fuck. He’s going to kill me and take my wings._

“Open them, Tommy,” the voice said, only this time with less patience. Painfully, Tommy extended each wing, stiff from weeks of being tied up. When Dream had first tightened the knot around his waist, his wings cramped and itched having not been exercised or cared for. After a week he lost feeling. Now he pried the stiff muscles a part holding down an urge to scream.

Dream didn’t like it when Tommy reacted to pain. It’d always ended in more blood, bruising, and loss.

This time the boot pushed down on the middle of his back and the sharp edge of a netherite axe met the surface of his right wing, barely nicking it a little. Tears slipped down from his clenched eyes.

_This was it_

Tommy waited in terror, but nothing happened. Instead of sinking the blade into the wing, Dream removed the axe, and used the boot that was on his back, to shove Tommy over into his side.

“You should be grateful that I’m not taking your wings.” Tommy opened his eyes both with a sense of confusion and fear. The green figure knelt down, causing Tommy to flinch, as two fingers brushed against his cheek.

“I thought it wouldn’t have to come to this. That I could trust you and I wouldn’t need to use this precaution.” Dream sighed

“But then again, I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up over someone with a record like yours.”

“A-are you going to k-kill me,” Tommy stuttered out.

“Why would I kill you when we’re having so much fun.”

“W-what did you do to me?” There was a pause, as the smile tilted sideways, the painted black dots ominously staring down his prey. Tommy winced under the cold stare.

“Oh Tommy, I’ve simply done what was needed a long time ago. I put you on a leash.”

“I-I d-don’t understand. Why’d you free my wings.”

“Because even if you try to fly away, I know for sure you won’t get far.” He leaned lips mask close to Tommy’s ear, so he could whisper.

“Not only do people hate you but if you were to go back you’d only hurt the ones you love even more. And they’d hate you even more than they do now” Dream pulled away from the cowering figure, then stepped over him, sending sharp pain down Tommy’s left wing as his boots made contact with it.

“I’ve decided to cancel plans, so I can visit tomorrow.” He could Dream pause.

“Oh and Tommy. This is only the beginning.” And with that last statement, the green man was gone (for now at least).

Tommy lay on the grass his head spinning and a sensation of nausea threatening sickness with even the slightest movement. Outside was cold and dangerous with mobs creeping out from shadows of night's cloak, but Tommy couldn’t bring himself to move. He just laid still, breathing quietly his thoughts slowly slipping in and out.

“Tommy. Is that you?” I cheerful voice chirped pulling him back into reality. Tommy didn’t know how long he’d been laying there since Dream left.

His blurred vision could just barely pick out the floating gray form of Ghostbur as he appeared in front of him. The spirit leaned down, his blue stained face scrunching in confusion as he looked at the young hybrid awkwardly sprawled on his side.

“H-hey Ghostbur,” Tommy said, his thoughts becoming more distant.

“Tommy why are you laying outside tnret and why are your wings not in that knotty thing?”

Tommy was about to reply when a painful burning sensation erupted under his skin. His body curled over in agony. Ear deafening screams split the air.

_What the fuck was happening. What did Dream do._

His eyes began to blur, and a sharp crawling started up his arms and legs. Through glassy tears Tommy could see the apparition step back, horror and fear taking over the usually friendly face.

“Tommy. What’s the matter?” He was slipping away, the unconsciousness void beckoning him under. He rolled over and reached an arm towards the opening of his shelter as if trying to will himself inside. Then he went still.

Ghostbur screamed in terror.

And everything went black.


	3. The Morning After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy wakes up and is shocked to learn what happened. Dream pays a short (and I mean very short) visit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: blood (minor cuts), manipulation, slight panic attack, and slight angst.
> 
> I'm sorry this chapter took a little while (writing it felt like pulling out teeth as I've been super tired and busy lately). However, it's done and I will hopefully start working on chapter 4 as soon as I can. Thank you to those who left a kudos and are still following along. I really appreciate the support <3

Light. It was bright and strangely chilly, as Tommy began to stir, squinting his eyes. Rolling over onto his side, he let out a slight groan and placed a hand on wooden flooring. Wait floor? Something was off. He sat up suddenly, the sudden movement shocked his head out of a daze. He was in the cabin. Ghostbur’s cabin.

_How the fuck did he get here?_

His hand tightened into a nervous fist but stopped as it was met with sharp pain. Looking down, he saw a few jagged glass fragments pressed into his palms, blood drying around the cuts. With his thoughts finally coming into focus, he then noticed a trail of shattered glass leading to a broken window.

_No wonder it was cold._

As his vision swept around the cabin, he noticed more and more wreckage. A blue flower buried under the remains of a flowerpot, chairs toppled over, and patches of blood.

_What happened? Was that his blood? No, it has to be his blood. He was the only one there apart from Ghostbur who a ghost was. Ghost’s can’t bleed. Where was Ghostbur?_

A gentle knock pulled him away from rising panic.

“T-tommy? Are you normal again?” The front door opened slightly, as the pale eye of his dead brother appeared in its crack.

“Ghostbur what the hell happened.” The door slowly swung open to reveal a nervous ghost playing with his fingertips.

“Y-you don’t remember?” The ghost looked confused and a little scared. He had a snarky comeback on the tip of his tongue, but remembered that Dream would be disappointed if he found out Tommy had been mouthy. Instead he went with a gentle head shake in response to the inquiry.

Ghostbur, shut the door and cautiously floated forward until he was kneeling next to his brother.

“Your hands are all bloody. We should clean them, yeah?” Once again Tommy nodded, only this time in approval. He didn’t fully understand the point of cleaning the wounds, as he already had plenty of unattended cuts and bruises from exile he never bothered to treat. However, as he looked down at the glass, he realized it was probably was necessary if he were to use his hands again.

He hadn’t even noticed Ghostbur had gotten up and returned with a small bowl of water and some cloth.

“I don’t have much, but I think this will do.” Picking up a little cloth, Ghostbur dipped it in the water then gently began clearing blood away. Tommy winced every time the damp cloth made contact with his hands.

“Ghostbur, can you please tell me what happened.” Ghostbur swallowed a little as if nervously trying to find the right words.

“Well, you went all floppy, so I went up to you to see if you were asleep, but when I got closer you kind of spun around and tried to grab me and your eyes were all red and your arms and legs had red veiny things, and I don’t think you were Tommy anymore because you got all,” the ghost paused with a shudder. Tommy was listening so intently he hadn’t noticed that Ghostbur was already pulling the glass from his palms

“What do you mean ‘I wasn’t Tommy anymore.” Ghostbur bit his lip nervously.

“Well you went all crazy like when you saw me the only thing you wanted to do was hurt me, and I know normal Tommy would never try to hurt me. So I started to run to the cabin, but you flew into the air and then started flying down really fast, but luckily, I had made it into the cabin and locked the door. Then you started banging on it for a little while. It eventually went quiet, I thought to myself ‘oh maybe crazy red Tommy gave up, but then I heard glass shatter and you started crawling through the window. You chased me around the room doing a bunch of duking, weavy thingys, but then I realized ‘wait I’m already dead,” so then I picked up one of the chairs and dropped it on you, as you ran at me and tried to swipe me.”

_That would explain the difficulty it took to collect his thoughts after waking u._ Then it hit him. Panic. Absolute panic. By then Ghostbur had finished wrapping Tommy’s hands with strips of cloths. He pushed himself to his feet. His body was shaking as he desperately began gasping for air.

“Tommy? You’re fine now though. Wait where are you going?” Tommy ignored his brother's question as he quickly made his way over to the door, swung it open, then stumbled onto the grass. Falling on all fours, he was met with a sharp sting as his hands made contact with the grass.

_He can’t breathe. Where was the air? Why can’t he breathe?_

A cold hand suddenly appeared on his back causing him to wince, but then relax as it made slow, comforting circles in between his wings. He could breathe again, as his body gave in to the gentle touch.

“You’re ok Tommy. Maybe you’re just sick. Oh! I know who you need. Technoblade! You always like to be with Technoblade when you’re sick.”

It was true, in his early childhood, Tommy had asked for his big brother to sit with him when he was sick. Normally he was hot-headed and energetic, but whenever he started coming down with something, he’d always clung to family. Especially his heroic older brother. However, Tommy hadn’t done that in years. Not since Phil and Technoblade began leaving for days and sometimes weeks. Wilbur was left to care for his little brother, but even then, he eventually left. Tommy was forced to grow up so young. At age 14 Tommy no longer cried out for his family when he was sick or hurt rather ignored the pain until it slowly went away. Then by the time he was 15 he set out into the world all by himself ending up in two major wars which only widened the rift between him and his family.

Tommy begged Ghostbur not to get Techno with a lot of ‘I’m fine,’ and ‘no need to bothers’. They weren’t on the best terms as last time they’d seen each other his eldest brother told him to ‘die like a hero,’ before unleashing explosive beasts upon his country. Tommy grimaced at the thought of running into Techno. He’d probably kill him anyway.

Despite Tommy’s pleads, his other (and now dead older) brother seemed to completely ignore him as he droned on about little Tommy and a life long ago.

“I’ll be right back,” and with a perky step, the ghost had vanished, leaving the blonde boy alone with no one, but himself and the dread of not knowing what was happening to him or when his green friend would return.

There was no point in sitting around as he vividly remembered Dream saying he’d be visiting the next day. That meant Tommy only had a few hours at least to search for a little food and clean up the area. He grabbed his stomach feeling all of his pointy ribs. He was thin. He needed to eat, but he wasn’t hungry. With a sigh, he stood up, pushing away any lingering shrouds of panic.

“Cleaning up first. That’s all I need to do for now.”

A few hours passed as Tommy swept away at the broken glass and set to fixing broken chairs. The labor was a welcoming distraction. The mindless activities gave him momentarily. It wasn’t until he heard the faint sound of portal particles, that pulled him back to his reality. Tommy dropped the cloth he was using, ran out the door, up the hill, the beelined it towards the portal. There stood the familiar tall green figure, waiting.

“What the hell did you do to me?” Tommy marched up to Dream with a sudden burst of seemingly forgotten, stubborn energy. His reaction faded into regret as Dream took a step forward, and he stumbled onto the ground. Familiar panic washed over him.

“I told you, Tommy, you’re on my leash now. Why was last night not fun for you? Is that why you think I’m going to allow such an outburst.” Tommy crawled backward falling into his long wings, as Dream took a few more steps forward. The green figure knelt down and grabbed the front of Tommy’s shirt.

“I thought forcing your obedience would fix you, but looks like that won’t be enough. You’re still holding on to something I see that now. Don’t worry though. I’ve got a plan to fix that.” A hard slap met the teen’s dirty cheek, and he rolled onto his back since the hand holding his shirt had let go at the same time. Tommy rubbed his sore cheek, forcing back tears.

“I’ll send you something in a few days to fix that problem, until then I won’t be coming back until I know for sure that I have your full obedience, and I definitely won’t be staying with the way you greeted me today.” As the figure turned towards the portal, Tommy quickly scrambled to his feet stumbling towards him. Reaching out a shaking hand, he grabbed a green sleeve, the body attached to it freezing at the unexpected tug.

“Please don’t go. I promise I’ll be good. Please I don’t want to be alone. I-I don’t know what’s going on, just please stay.” There was a painfully long moment of silence before the sleeve was torn away from Tommy’s trembling fist.

“You should’ve thought about that before you hurt my feelings.”

There was the familiar woosh of particles, the settling of a light breeze, and finally, a teen left staring blankly at an empty portal.

He was alone again, and he was fucking scared.


	4. The Gift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dreams gift arrives. Ghostbur gets Techno's help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw: blood, implied kermitting nonalive, angst, malnutrition, depression, stabbing, manipulation.
> 
> Thank you for being patient with me. It is really hard to find the motivation to write, let alone be able to write, but the people that are still following along make it was worth it. Also 25 kudos and 5 bookmarks!!!?? Thank you guys so much. Truly, you guys are absolutely amazing. Quick note, but I give updates about the writing in the notes section on chapter 1 if you want to track the story's progress.
> 
> Again thank you guys so much and enjoy :)

It had been a week since Dream last visited, let alone Ghostbur. Tommy sat near the shoreline dwindling with a small stone dagger he made. The condition of his wings improved drastically since Dream had cut the rope tying them down (although there were some spots he could not reach, not to mention dirt and scabs). Combing his fingers through the soft feathers wings was the only thing keeping the panic attacks at bay.

He didn’t know if Dream would come back or what he meant by “sending him a gift.” A sick part of him missed Dream. Despite the cuts, bruises, and explosions, he was still there for Tommy. He was the only person in the world that was his friend. 

Right?

Shaking the thoughts from his head, Tommy dropped his arms by his side letting a sigh escape. It was getting closer to sunset and he decided it would be a good time to snack on the few scraps of food he saved. 

As he was about to open the tent flap, he heard the familiar whoosh of portal particles. Turning towards the tree line expecting to see a green familiar figure, his heart jumped when his eyes met a set of deep blue eyes instead. Standing near the portal in a nicely pressed suit, stood Tommy’s best friend (or used to be). His hair was slicked back revealing small goat horns, and even from a distance, he could see his soft ears were hung in a sad, anxious position.

Both were stunned. Tommy’s wings fluttered a bit as he was flooded with overwhelming feelings of happiness, betrayal, comfort, hurt, and tingling?

No, no, no.

The familiar sensation from the night he’d blacked out was starting to return. He had to think quickly. If what Ghostbur described was true, and he was going to go all “feral” again, Tubbo would have no chance of getting back to L’manberg safe or at all for that matter. He was a danger. He always had been. Only now he didn’t have control. Despite Tubbo exiling him, not showing up to the beach party, and not visiting until that day, deep down a part of him still cared for his friend. Even though he knew Tubbo no longer cared for him, Dream made it pretty clear when he mentioned him burning his “Your Tommy” compass. Besides if Tommy let the L’manberg president get hurt or die everyone might hate him even more than they already did. 

He didn’t have much time to question the president's unexpected visit, as the sickening feeling began creeping up his throat. He turned and ran, using his wings to propel him slightly forward. He shouldn’t have been able to run as fast as he was, but the adrenaline, fear, and sickness seemed to make it possible as he sprinted up the hill slope that overlooked the dark crashing sea. It was high. That was good. And it would be hard to swim with heavy wet wings. That was also good.

Tommy stood at the edge of the cliff, his vision started to blur. In the distance, he could see his young friend running after him, his shorter legs not yet reaching the base of the slope. He could faintly hear shouting, but he needed to focus on keeping his thoughts clear. He hunched over a little with a jerk of pain. 

What if this wouldn’t be enough. What if his crazy, infected side still found a way out of the swirling depths and back onto the shore? Even though it seems unlikely, he still couldn’t take that risk. That’s when he realized he was gripping onto the stone dagger.

He looked down at the carefully carved dagger made from hours of recent boredom. 

Was this it? Was it time to let go? He would finally get rid of the constant exhaustion and hunger. He would no longer be a burden to Dream and others. He would no longer have to relive painful memories at night and after TNT explosions. 

The world didn’t need him or want him. That’s what exile taught him. He was a danger and needed to pay for it with all he has, even when the only thing he has left is his life. 

Tommy inched back, so that his feet balanced on the edge of the cliff, leaning his head back to take one last breath of air. He held the blade to his stomach. Everything froze as he plunged the dagger in. His sad gray eyes opened, the last breath he took slipped from his lungs, and then he fell. His vision darkened as he fell towards the dark swirling blue, but he wasn’t hurting anymore. He didn’t feel it. He hit the water. Then it was silent.

***Tubbo’s Perspective***

He stood before the curling shades of purple, twisting his shirt. Earlier Dream had told Tubbo not only where Tommy was, but that he wanted him to visit. He couldn’t believe his ears.

After exiling Tommy, it didn’t take long for Tubbo to regret his decision. It only took a total of 24 hours before he broke down into a pile of tears and guilt. He had made a mistake. He had sent his best friend away without so much as a blink of an eye. Tommy would never have done that to him, yet Tubbo betrayed him.

Tubbo spent weeks in his office, burying himself in paperwork, as it was the only thing that kept his mind off of the guilt. After a week he spent hours searching for Tommy. After two weeks, he gave up. There was no way he would be able to find Tommy, and even if he did find him, he was sure Tommy wouldn’t want him to visit. 

Dream gave periodic updates to the community telling them Tommy was happy in his new home, and that he even mentioned something about hoping to never return.’ It made Tubbo’s heart sink.

When Dream told him the news that Tommy wanted Tubbo to visit, it was the first time his heart lit up in weeks. Now here Tubbo was. About to see his best friend and maybe take him back to L’manberg if he wanted to.

Tubbo took a nervous pause before stepping through the portal. First, he was met with bright sunlight causing him to blink a little before his vision could refocus. It was chilly where he stood, and he noted a small white tent a few yards ahead. He froze when a tall blonde figure appeared around the corner of the shelter, then stopped in front of the opening to face him.

It was Tommy, but he looked completely different. His eyes were no longer a vibrant blue filled with excitement, rather a dull gray. Both shirt and pants were torn and dirty, not to mention a shoe was missing from his left foot. Cuts, burns, and bruises ran up his abnormally thin legs, arms, and face. Long, matted hair covered his head, and his once cream-colored wings tipped with fiery red and gold, were just as bad as his hair.

He was too stunned to move when the tall lanky figure began bolting away. Taking a moment to pull himself back to reality he began chasing after the figure now across the field and mid-way up a slope.

Where was he going?

“Tommy?” Tubbo shouted. Tommy had turned his back facing what seemed to be a cliff drop into the ocean. He could see him curl into himself a little as if in pain.

“Tommy!” Tubbo repeated watching in horror as Tommy lifted a small blade to his stomach. Hot tears began pouring down Tubbo’s face as he reached the bottom of the slope.

He needed to get to him. Faster. He’s just up the hill. 

It wasn’t enough. He wasn’t fast enough.

Tubbo dropped to his knees as he watched Tommy press the blade into his body, dark red blooming under his shirt, as he leaned backward, then he was gone.

He was screaming, reaching a hand towards the now empty spot expecting the teen to suddenly reappear.

This wasn’t real. This had to be a joke. Tommy couldn’t be gone. If Tommy was gone why was the sky still a sunny blue. If Tommy was gone why were clouds still dancing. If Tommy was gone … he’s gone. He’s gone. 

Tubbo dropped to all fours, screams turning into sobs. He killed his best friend. He drove him to this. Tommy was gone, it was his fault, and now a part of him is dead. His Tommy was dead.

***Techno’s Perspective***

Retirement suited the pilglin shapeshifter well. It was quiet. Chat (the voices in his head) were quiet. Of course, there was the occasional random mention of “blood for the blood god,” but for the most part, it was peaceful banter.

It was different from the battlefield. No more explosions. No more clanging swords. No more overwhelming anger and blood. 

Just chilly air and the consistent whack of his ax against the tree. With a final blow, the bark cracked, and the tree went toppling backward. Inspecting the round stump left behind, Techno gave a proud smile as he grabbed the end of the fallen trunk and began hoisting up to the small cabin. 

Upon reaching the cabin, he realized the kitchen was on.

Phil must be home. He shrugged and dropped the tree by the side of his house. He’d deal with cutting up the tree in a bit but wanted to pop in to greet his guest first. As Techno shuffled up the steps, and through the doorway, he was surprised to not be met with Phil, rather the fuzzy gray form of his dead brother.

“Hey, Ghostbur. What brings you here?” Techno closed the door behind him and began casually removing layers of clothes.

“Hi, Techno. Lovely day isn’t it? Well, I went to L’manberg because I had to do something, then Dream told me about going to visit you and pointed me towards the woods, but then I got lost and it started to rain, and hey! It turns out I melt in the rain. I spent a while dodging raindrops, then they became snowflakes which were a lot easier to avoid, then I finally saw your cabin, and recognized Carl, so I thought I would wait for Techno to return.”

“Very nice,” Techo passively replied, barely paying the ghost much attention. He strode over to the fireplace, tossed a log in, then put his chilled hands in front of the glowing warmth. Ghostbur, carelessly floated next to the shapeshifter. Still rambling on about his travels.

“How’s Logsteadshire?” Techno interrupted. The ghost went still. Techno turned towards his brother concerned about the abrupt stop. He looked confused but seemed to be focusing hard on remembering something.

“Logsteadshire.” 

“Are you alright?” Ghostbur suddenly gasped and grabbed Techno’s arm, pulling back towards his outdoor wear.

“I remember now. We need to go to Logsteadshire. I needed to get you because Tommy’s in trouble, but then I forgot, and I don’t know—”

“Slow down. What’s wrong with Tommy.” Techno’s gut flipped a little. The last time he heard of his fiery young brother he was in exile. He was fine though. Right?

“He’s in danger and we need to help him.” With that last sentence, Techno nodded and began pulling his winter clothes back on. He had many questions, but now was not the time to dwell. If Ghostbur was right and Tommy was in trouble he doesn’t know what kind of trouble it is, but Ghostbur’s sudden panic suggests it isn’t good. Throwing his red cape around his shoulders, Techo made his way over to Carl and hoisted himself up over the saddle. Though Ghostbur didn’t need it, he held up a hand to help up his brother. With both men settled on the back of Carl, Techno gently kicked the side of his stead, and they were off.

It wasn’t a long trip to Logsteadshire, but the quiet site that greeted them sent a shiver down his spine.

Something was off.


	5. The Find

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Techno arrives at Logsteadshire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, it's been a while since I've posted. Schoolwork has been rough as well as swim practice. My goal is to post once a week at least (and maybe more consistently once my sports season is over). I also know this chapter is a bit short, but I need to plan what happens next and didn't want to keep ya'll waiting in anticipation. 
> 
> Also, 10 bookmarks and 40 kudos!!!!!!! Thank you guys, so much. Those that bookmarked and left kudos are part of the reason I'm not letting my depression drop this work. I am determined to finish this both to prove that I am stronger than my mental illness, but also for those that are still reading along and supporting. 
> 
> Again thank you guys so much :) (also I love reading the comments)

The first thing Techno noticed after arriving at Logsteadshire was the smell of gunpowder. The second thing Techno noticed was the silence. That was unusual. Usually, wherever Tommy was there was loud rambling, laughing, and swearing. Now there was silence.

Spotting a small white tent in the slight distance, he decided to check there first.

“Ghostbur check the cabin, while I go check out that tent.” Ghostbur nodded as he floated away. Trudging up to the tent, Techno pulled back the flap to reveal an empty living space. A clumsily made chest and picture pressed up against the right side of the tent, while a stiffly made bed lay against the left side. Techno’s back hurt looking at the small cot.

He pulled his head out of the cot and turned to see his brother approaching.

“He’s not in the cabin.” Techno’s face furrowed with worry.

_Where was he?_

“Let’s check the surrounding area,” Techno said giving a nod towards a hill incline. As the brothers approached the top, Techno was struck with a feeling of worry. Chat had been silent, allowing the hybrid to focus, but upon reaching the edge of a large cliff, his head was filled with worried whispers. It was a straight drop into swelling water.

It wasn’t until Techno took a moment to scan the surrounding landscape that he spotted a lanky silhouette on the shoreline.

_This wasn’t good._

“Over there,” Techno pointed as the ghost followed his gaze. Running down the hill, they took a sharp turn, over the sand dunes, and onto the beach. As they got closer, Techno realized the figure wasn’t moving. He picked up his pace.

“Tommy?” Techno stared in shock at the young teen that now laid at his feet. He was almost unrecognizable underneath the shallow cheeks, dirt, bruises, cuts, and tears. Leaning down, Techno rested an ear on Tommy’s chest. He was breathing. He was alive! That was good. Before Techno could address anything else, he knew he needed to stabilize Tommy, so he’d stay alive.

“Ghostbur can you grab me some cloth, and maybe some blankets.” Ghostbur nodded and dashed to find the supplies. Techno gently ran a hand through the teens dirty, long locks. As Techno waited the more injuries he noticed. Burns likely from a TNT explosion, though he had no clue why Tommy would have TNT in the first place. There was a gash on his leg, but he wouldn’t be able to fully assess how bad it truly was until he could get him home. Most prominently was the dagger sticking out of Tommy’s stomach. Techno noticed it immediately when arriving on the scene but couldn’t wrap his head around how the dagger got there or how the kid was still alive. A soft shout pulled the hybrid from his thoughts as Ghostbur threw down a pile of cloth and a couple blankets.

“This is all I have.” Techno wished there were more supplies, but this would be enough for now. It would have too.

Gently Techno pressed a cloth on the dagger, making sure to leave it in, as pulling it out at that moment could be a fatal mistake. The wound wasn’t bleeding heavily, but he couldn’t tell if that was a good sign or a bad one.

“Ghostbur I need you to hold pressure here, like this.” With a nod he took over Techno’s place ad he moved to grab more cloth. Techno gently wrapped a few cuts that were bleeding, as well as his hands. Removing his cloak, Techno wrapped the teen up with it first then with the blankets.

“I’m going to grab Carl. Stay here and don’t move your hands.” Techno rushed up the hill to the tree line where Carl stood grazing. Grabbing the reins, he swiftly led the stead back to the beach. The next part would be tricky.

“Ghosbur, get on the middle of Carl. I’m going to sit Tommy in front of you and then I’ll direct your hand to where you need to keep pressure.” Techno took over the task of keeping pressure on Tommy’s stomach as the Ghost carelessly floated onto the horse’s back. Shifting slightly to more to his pilgin side, Tencho lifted the bundle of blankets and carefully placed the teen in front. Then he guided Ghostbur’s hand to Tommy’s abdomen before leaning him further onto Ghostbur. Techno could hear chat begin to chant _blood for blood god_ , as he shifted into his piglin form, but pushed back the sound. He had to focus. He couldn’t let chat take over. Taking a deep breath Techno hoisted himself behind Ghostbur and grabbed the reins.

“Hold on tight. I’m going to try to be careful, but I want to get back quickly.” With a slight kick on they were off with the unconscious teen nestled closely to his dead brother.


End file.
